


To the End of Her Dream

by sailortenoh



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Azure Moon Spoilers, Blue Lions Spoilers, Disfigurement, F!Byleth, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, no beta we die like Glenn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:33:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22353418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sailortenoh/pseuds/sailortenoh
Summary: Dimitri saw another chance to reach out. To help guide Edelgard out of the darkness she had surrounded herself in. Yet when he reached his hand to her, all he was met with was a blank stare and the emperor collapsing to the ground.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 30





	1. Chapter 1

“Have there been any changes?”

“None, sir. She’s just the same as she’s been since we brought her in from Enbarr.”

“...very well. You’re dismissed.”

“Yes your majesty.”

Dimitri sighed as the guard walked down the hall and turned his face back towards the door before him.

“Three weeks, and nothing…” He muttered under his breath.

Three weeks since the war had reached its end. Three weeks since Dimitri and his friends had stormed the imperial palace to put an end to Edelgard’s brutal regime, only to find a living horror awaiting them. From what Dimitri had pieced together, Edelgard’s transformation had been brought on by Crest experimentation done on her by the subterranean league formerly headed by Lord Arundel. Upon learning this, he felt regret for his last words to his step sister. Had he known what was truly being done behind the scenes, perhaps he and Edelgard could have found common ground and risen up against those who slithered together. Even now he desperately wished for that day to come, unlikely as it seemed.

Behind that door was none other than Edelgard herself, miraculously alive after all that had transpired in the palace’s throne room. Upon her defeat, the emperor had reverted back to her normal self, the only trace of her horrific form being a dark scar across her face. Seeing this, Dimitri saw another chance to reach out. To help guide Edelgard out of the darkness she had surrounded herself in. Yet when he reached his hand to her, all he was met with was a blank stare and the emperor collapsing to the ground. Byleth was at her side in a flash, bringing her head to the woman’s chest before looking back to Dimitri.

“It’s faint, but her heart is still beating. She’s still alive.”

Despite all that had transpired that day, the past five years even, Dimitri found himself smiling.

“Good. Get her to Mercedes and Flayn as quickly as you can.”

Byleth gave a quick nod before hoisting the unconscious emperor up into her arms and hurrying back to the entrance of the throne room. Dimitri of course followed after her, knowing fully well that he alone would be able to dissuade an awaiting Seteth from having her killed on the spot.

“I’ll not lose you too, El.”

* * *

Three weeks had passed since then, and Edelgard had since been brought back to Fhirdiad to recover, though Dimitri had announced to the Kingdom that she had been taken as their prisoner to keep the general public from calling for her execution. It had worked for a time, though lately the citizens had grown restless. Rumors had begun to spread of King Dimitri keeping Edelgard alive to help reinstate the Empire from within Faeghus itself like Cornelia had done before, or that the king had relapsed back into his insanity and was torturing Edelgard day by day, keeping her inches away from death. While Gilbert had managed to keep things relatively under control for a time, it was beginning to get to be too much for him and the knights to control. After a group of citizens were apprehended trying to break into the castle to get answers for themselves, Dimitri knew something had to be done.

Placing his hand on the doorknob, Dimitri took a deep breath.

‘Please, El...speak to me just once.’

Upon stepping inside, Dimitri saw Edelgard seated on the edge of her bed, the very bed she had called her own when she had lived in the capital all those years ago. Dimitri couldn’t bear the thought of placing her in the dungeons, and hoped that the familiar scenery would aid in her recovery. Alas, three weeks had gone by and not a thing had changed. Ever since she had first woken up, Edelgard had remained in her bed with the same glazed over expression she had given Dimitri back in the throne room in Enbarr. Her scar had gotten worse over time, slowly spreading across her face with cracks forming in her skin. She was still human without a doubt, but the disfiguration was hauntingly similar to what she had looked like in her transformed state. The price she had to pay for her actions.

The former emperor kept her head hung low, even as Dimitri approached her, keeping her eyes fixated on the floor below her. She only turned her attention towards him when the king’s shadow loomed over her, her eyes narrowing ever so slightly. Dimitri sighed, having a feeling he knew what to expect from this conversation, if one could even call it that.

“Good morning, Edelgard.”

She gave him no response, her eyes unmoving.

“I suppose I can’t fault you for keeping quiet. Do you mind if I sit down?”

Edelgard slowly glanced away, Dimitri taking that as an ‘I don’t care’ sort of answer before taking a seat next to her. There was an awkward silence between them for a few moments before Dimitri decided to try and strike up conversation again.

“I think you’ll be happy to know we’ve come closer to discovering where our uncle’s subordinates have been hiding all this time. We'll be sending a group of knights to scout out an area in Goneril territory by the end of the month. With any luck, no one will have to suffer as you did anymore.”  
Dimitri could’ve sworn he saw Edelgard’s expression lighten at the mention of those who slither in the dark’s destruction, though any trace was gone as quickly as it may have appeared. Even if it had been so fleeting, at least it was something other than the frown she always had for him. There was silence again, and Dimitri lowered his head, knowing he had to get this over with sooner or later.

“...the people are beginning to grow restless. Every day, more and more of them are calling for your execution.”

Edelgard’s expression seemed to darken upon the news, not too dissimilar to how she had looked when Dimitri had entered the room.

“I’ve tried to keep things from escalating for as long as I can, to keep you safe, but…” he bit his words back before continuing “...I’m worried I won’t be able to any longer.”

Edelgard suddenly whipped her head in Dimitri’s direction and opened her mouth as if to say something to him, the only thing coming out being a sound comparable to low screech, the woman grasping at her throat in pain. Whatever it was she had been planning on saying, Dimitri knew it wouldn’t have been pleasant. He cautiously brought a hand to Edelgard’s shoulder, trying to ease whatever pain she was currently in.

“Please don’t misunderstand me, Edelgard, that’s the last thing I’d ever want to do, especially with how you are in your current state, but if things continue as they are…” He trailed off when he noticed thin streaks of blood cascading down Edelgard’s cheeks, the cracks in her skin no doubt having opened back up with her sudden burst of movement. Bringing a handkerchief to his step sister’s face, Dimitri took a deep breath before he continued. “If things continue the way they are, the Kingdom could fall apart just as it nearly did already.”

Edelgard kept silent, seemingly ignoring her step brother’s words and actions. Dimitri sighed once more and stood up from the bed. “A servant will be here with your food and water shortly.” He said before making his way to the door, turning his head to look back at her again.

“I promise I won’t give up on you, El…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> funny story about this fic, it started off in my head as a short 1-2 chapter edeleth angst fic ending with el dying, but after talking to some friends i realized i could do a lot more with it by focusing more on dimitri and edelgard's relationship and her recovery from the hegemon transformation. this is my first time taking on a bigger project like this so i'm sure i'll occasionally drop in on past chapters to make some minor changes, but for the most part this is absolutely a No Beta We Die Like Glenn fic lol


	2. Chapter 2

Dead.

That’s what she should be.

Dead and in the ground with the rest of her siblings and friends.

And yet she lived while they had died for her. 

Ever since she had woken up in Fhridiad the nightmares had grown worse. Hubert, Caspar, Petra, Dorothea, and Bernadetta now accompanied her siblings in her night terrors, socketless eyes staring down at her, slumped over and powerless to do anything.

“Traitor.” they’d call her. Over and over and over again, blood pooling down at their feet, surrounding Edelgard, her reflection in the red being that of the monster she had allowed those who slither in the dark to transform her into. It would be the last thing she would see before sinking into the pool of blood around her, her cries and shrieks falling on the deaf ears of her night demons.

It had become a cycle. Go to bed, be forced to face the friends she had made to die for her, see herself for what she had become, and wake up screaming with the taste of blood in her mouth. From what she could tell, the transformation and subsequent reversion had damaged both her throat and vocal cords extensively, making even the escape from her nightmares something to dread. 

And yet there wasn’t a moment she felt it undeserved.

She had failed her empire, her friends, and her siblings most of all. Her new world would never come to be, and she had the gall to live while countless others had laid their lives down all for the sake of her beliefs. And Dimitri had the sheer audacity to expect her to want to stay living? To be kept prisoner in the Kingdom just as she had been as a child, with the promise of freedom being a thinly veiled lie? To her that was worse than continuing her existence, something she was determined to see ended.

But then Dimitri had mentioned Arundel. How they had found where those who slither lurked and that they planned to launch an assault on them by the moon’s end. How in Sothis’ name they had learned any of this when not even Hubert had been able to was beyond her, but it had made her reconsider her fate for a moment. Had he learned what truly transpired in the time after she had left Fhirdiad, and had set out to right this injustice in her name?

‘Such a foolish man.’ She thought to herself, her gaze lingering to the tray of simple breakfast meats and a glass of water that had been delivered to her as promised. The servant hadn’t even attempted to make eye contact with her when he had entered, though Edelgard could hardly blame him. She had seen what had become of her body, the weeks of starving herself having made her nearly skin and bones, cheeks sunken and skin paling. Not to mention the ghastly scar that had been present on her face since she had turned to normal. As it grew it served as a reminder of what she had become to achieve her ambitions.

She was about to turn away from the tray and remain seated just as she had been, but Dimitri’s words lingered in her mind. For the first time since Enbarr, Edelgard found herself rising to her feet, albeit weakly as if she would collapse at any moment, and brought a shaking hand out towards the glass of water. She’d had a few sips of water in the past weeks already when the pain in her stomach was just too much to ignore, but now she found herself drinking from the whole glass, as if her step brother’s words has inspired something in her. Something to keep her alive.

Setting the glass down, Edelgard quickly returned to the bed and her lips curved upwards.

‘...perhaps I’ll just have to place my faith in that fool.’

*

“Your majesty, a moment if you please.”   
  
Dimitri was hardly five steps away from the door before he heard Gilbert call out to him, wincing for a moment before turning to face the older knight. “Of course Gilbert, is something the matter?”   
  
“Your presence is required in the council room,” he explained ”Margrave Gautier and Duke Fraldarius have just arrived.”

“Excellent. Let them know I’ll be there shortly, I just need a moment to clear my thoughts.”

“As you wish, your majesty.” 

As Gilbert left, Dimitri turned back to the door. There was no use lingering on the brief time he had spent in there, the past three weeks had shown as much. And yet… Edelgard’s reaction when he had mentioned their advancements on the Agarthans was the first time since Enbarr he had seen her seem impacted by something, as if she truly cared about the outcome of such an attack. 

“Then what lay beneath the palace was true after all…” Dimitri muttered to himself, his fist clenching before he relaxed it. Losing his temperament wouldn’t do him any good now, not when he had a council meeting he was already most assuredly late for. With one last glance to the door, Dimitri made his way down the hall, somehow already dreading the conversation he was about to throw himself into.

*

“You kept us waiting, boar.”

“Really Felix? You’re still keeping that going?”

“You talk like it’s been years since Enbarr, Sylvain. I’ll ‘keep it going’ until I see that boar actually change.”

“That’s enough from both of you.” Dimitri said as he sat down at the head of the council table, Dedue already seated at his side. “My apologies for my lateness, I was… preoccupied.”

“Babysitting that witch you call a stepsister?” Count Galatea spoke up, eyes strenly fixed on Dimitri. 

“...yes, I was visiting Edelgard.” Dimitri responded, holding back any spite to his words.

“Then I imagine you’ve informed her of the citizen’s cries for her head? And that she will be executed by the moon’s end?”

“It slipped my mind.” Dimitri half lied, knowing fully well that telling Edelgard that there were plans to have her killed would only drive them apart even further. 

Sylvain gave the king a look of concern. “Your majesty, I know the emperor means a lot to you, I get it, but…” he trailed off, Felix all the happy to continue where he had left off.

“But she needs to be killed. No amount of sentimentality can keep her alive at this point, especially when word could still reach the empire that she didn’t die in Enbarr.”

Dimitri had to admit, Felix was right. The longer they kept Edelgard alive, the more likely it was that her fabricated death story would fall apart and those still loyal to her in Adrestia would rally against the Kingdom in her name. The sight of Amyr broken in two and the emperor’s crown had done their job well enough as the Kingdom army had exited the palace, but even Dimitri knew they were only a temporary solution to a much larger problem. 

“You raise a fair point, Felix. Though let us not forget that Edelgard had disposed of a great deal of the empire’s nobility after she took the crown.” Gilbert was quick to interject. “While they still hold a good deal of power, none of them can come close to organizing a military force as well as she did all those years ago.”

“And if I may,” Dedue spoke up. “Keeping her alive would be quite advantageous to us.”

Count Galatea looked as if he were ready to fire back against Dedue, but Dimitri was quick to speak his mind first. “Dedue is right. While I’m not fond of the idea, Edelgard still possesses knowledge of our subterranean enemies. The notes we discovered in Lord Arundel’s estate and the laboratories under the palace have given us a great deal to work with, but Edelgard is the only one left of the empire who worked directly with those Agarthans. She… is still of use to us.”

“I hardly doubt one in such a vegative state as she could possibly be useful in any sense of the word.” Galatea sneered.

“That’s enough from you, Galatea.” Dimitri snapped, quickly regaining his composure. “...it is true that Edelgard has been braindead, for lack of a better term, since our arrival from Enbarr, but… I believe there’s still a chance she can be pulled out from whatever darkness shrouds her.”

The room was silent before Gilbert spoke up. “I believe now would be a good time to put this council meeting to recess. We can pick up from here at a later date.”

A murmur of agreements swept through the room before the nobles rose from their seats and made their way to the door, Felix lingering in the doorway.

“You better have a good plan to get that madwoman to start talking, boar. Don’t forget that my father is dead because of her war.”

“Trust me, Felix, I have a plan. I’ll not let Rodrigue have died in vain.”

“See to it.” He said, leaving without another word.

Dimitri sighed and turned to Dedue. “Dedue, I’d like you to see to it that the archbishop herself pays a visit to Edelgard. I believe she may be the key to getting my stepsister to come to her senses.

“As you wish, Dimitri.” He said, rising from his chair and exiting the room, leaving Dimitri alone at the table.

“Please, professor… help me save Edelgard.”


	3. Chapter 3

Byleth glanced out the window of her carriage, keeping herself wrapped in her church robes as the bitter chill of the late Horsebow Moon managed to creep its way inside. While it had only been four months since she and Dimitri had retaken Fhirdiad and freed the Kingdom from Cornelia’s iron grip, the land was already showing signs of recovery. While they still passed by the occasional tattered village, Faerghus would surely be in a better state by the end of the year than it currently was. But with each broken down village she saw, Byleth was reminded of why she had made this trip in the first place.

‘Edelgard…’

When Dedue had arrived at Garreg Mach and requested her presence in Fhirdiad, she was understandably surprised. From what she had heard from Dimitri, the rebuilding of the capital and surrounding territories had been going smoothly since the Harpstring Moon, and yet Dedue had insisted that she was needed most direly.

“The emper- forgive me, Dimitri’s stepsister, Edelgard has been unresponsive since our return to the capital. A majority of the lords in the KIngdom are pushing for her execution, despite her current state. Dimitri has been able to stave off their demands for the time being, but it is only a matter of time before he is forced to comply with their wishes.”

Byleth could understand why. Under Edelgard’s rule, Faeghus had suffered greatly, and even if it was Cornelia who had kept the Kingdom largely under her control, Edelgard was still the one who placed her there in the first place. So many lives had been stolen during the Empire’s time in power, so the calls for Edelgard’s head were justifiable in her eyes. 

“And why does he keep her alive? I imagine he must have his reasons, but Dimitri is hardly a fool. He should know that if the word that she lives reaches the empire, the people will rise up in her name.”   
  
“You make an excellent point, archbishop.” Dedue said with a nod. “However, Dimitri and I, as well as a select few members of the nobility believe that keeping Edelgard alive would serve the Kingdom well as we prepare for battle against the Agarthans.”

The Agarthans. Rhea had told her of them before she went into her exile in Zanado. While any original members of their tribe had surely since perished, their descendants were the reason Nemesis had been able to slaughter Rhea and Seteth’s people, and according to investigations done by Kingdom soldiers, were the reason Edelgard had become that grotesque abomination they had faced in the imperial palace. The thought of them continuing to make the people of Fodlan suffer disgusted Byleth, and she agreed to lend as many of the Knights of Seiros as she could to Dimitri’s cause.

“I take it Dimitri believes that because she worked so closely with them, she would be able to give us insight on how to defeat them?”   
  
“Precisely. However, Dimitri has had little luck in communicating with his stepsister. She never eats or speaks, and seems to be constantly plagued by nightmares from what her screams indicate.”

Byleth didn’t doubt that for a moment. Before their final departure from the palace, she had accompanied Dimitri and a handful of soldiers into a hidden passageway that had been uncovered during the fighting. What they had found was a spiraling staircase that led to a dungeon that reeked of blood. Rats could be heard scurrying about their feet, and for a moment they had all assumed they had just found a place the empire kept their most despicable prisoners.

Until they found the cells.

Each cell had a plank of wood with a name burned onto it hanging above the door, and each name had been that of a member of the Hresvelg family. Even now Byleth had to force herself from retching at the sight of the still decomposing bodies they had found. Some looked to be that of young adults, while another was only the size of a toddler. It wasn’t until they came across the one empty cell and a soldier came running over with new that a laboratory had been found that Byleth and Dimitri began to understand just what they had uncovered.

Up until that point, Byleth had not felt much remorse for Edelgard. She was the reason Dimitri had descended into madness, and had plagued the entire continent in a brutal war all for the sake of her ideals. And most of all, she had allied herself with those who took her father from her. It wasn’t until witnessing the unsightly form she had taken in the palace that Byleth felt that something was amiss, and the dungeon drove her even further into doubting her disdain for the emperor.

“Archbishop?”   
  
Byleth was suddenly pulled from her thoughts and was back in Garreg Mach seated across from Dedue in the audience chambers.

“I’m sorry, Dedue. I was struggling with some unpleasant memories is all. What was it you were asking?”

Dedue offered her a smile. “Think nothing of it. What I’ve been sent to ask is that you return with me to Fhirdiad. While Dimitri has made little progress in getting Edelgard to open up, he believes that you may have better success in it.”

“Is that so…” In truth, Byleth was curious to learn from Edelgard firsthand what had transpired beneath the imperial palace and what had pushed her to start her war. If Edelgard had anything of use to tell her, it could help her in reestablishing the church in a more positive light that would prevent future conflicts. While she hated to abandon her post so soon after taking up the role of archbishop, Byleth knew what her answer had to be.

And now here she was seated in a carriage on her way to Fhirdiad, her first time being back since she had officially crowned Dimitri as king of the newly united Fodlan. United only in name though, as there was still a matter of the lingering remains of the empire to contend with before they could truly claim the continent stood as one single entity. While those matters took a larger precedent over most others these days, defeating the Agarthans was not one of them. Byleth and Dimitri both knew that with how deeply entrenched they had been in the empire that vanquishing them had to be the first step to take in uniting Fodlan.

Gazing out the window, the archbishop sighed. Even if she valued her position as archbishop greatly, part of her wished she had been given more of a choice in what she would do after the war’s end. Even now she longed to be able to return to her old mercenary company and continue where she had left off six years ago. Of course it would never be the same without her father, but even still she longed for some sort of familiarity in her new life.

As Byleth continued to gaze out at the Kingdom’s scenery, the familiar sight of Fhirdiad’s city walls slowly crept in over the horizon. There would be no turning back from her decision now.

*

“Leaving so soon, Edie?”

Edelgard silently cursed herself before turning back to face Dorothea, the songstress propping herself up on her elbow while draped in the silk sheets of their shared bed. Under any other circumstances Edelgard would’ve gladly returned to bed, if only to share in her beloved’s embrace for just awhile longer. 

Today would be different.

“...today’s the day, isn’t it?”

Edelgard gave her a solemn nod and rested her hand on the doorknob before her. Every fiber of her being was screaming at her to stay with Dorothea, to leave the defense of Enbarr solely to Hubert and Petra. But she knew that wouldn’t do. Adrestia needed its emperor now more than ever.

“Were there any other way to go about this, know that I would’ve taken it. But for now…”

Edelgard felt a pair of arms drape around her waist and a pair of lips grace her cheek.

“I know, Edie. I always knew this day would come sooner or later, but…” Edelgard could hear Dorothea struggling to choke back her sobs. “Gods, I’m so sorry Edie, I just… I just wish Bern and Caspar could be here with us now...”

Edelgard grit her teeth at the mention of them. Not a day had gone by that she wished she could’ve been able to save Bernadetta from her gruesome fate at Gronder. To have seen her impaled on the end of Dimitri’s lance had been nearly too much for her to take and she still regretted setting the hill ablaze in an attempt to seize vengeance for her life. All it had led to was the charred remains of a girl who deserved a life more than what Edelgard had given her. And Caspar… for as long as she lived she would never forget the face of Count Bergliez when he had learned of his son’s death at Merceus. This was the cost of war though, and she could never let herself forget that. People would die by her order, and she would have to live with those sins for the rest of her days.

Edelgard was pulled from her thoughts by Dorothea’s hands clasping her face, the songstress’ eyes still wet with tears despite her best attempts to clean them up. Edelgard could feel some welling up inside her as well, but she could never let them show. Not when she would soon have to send more of her friends to their likely deaths. 

“Promise me, Edie. Promise me that when this is all over we’ll… we’ll run away from here. We’ll run off into the woods, away from all the politics and war… it can be just the two of us for the rest of our lives.”

“...That’s all I’ve ever wanted, Dorothea.” Edelgard threw her arms around the brunette and buried her face in the crook of her neck as to keep her tears hidden.

“Liar.”

“Dorothea?” Edelgard felt a chill run down her spine, and suddenly she was in the throne room.

‘No… not again, not now…’

Dorothea was no longer in her arms, instead laying on the floor in a crumpled, bloody heap.

“Dorothea!” Edelgard dropped to her knees and clutched the broken woman in her arms. Not again, she couldn’t live this out again. Her tears fell to the ground only to add to the pool of blood she had found Dorothea in. 

“Edie…”

Her eyes snapped open and she saw Dorothea weakly gaze up at her, a scarred and bloody hand caressing her cheek.

“You...you pro...mised…”

Edelgard woke up screaming, hacking up blood onto her sheets as she clawed at her scalp. Her screams slowly devolved into sobs as she buried her face in her hands.

“..rothe…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter might take a bit longer to get finished, i wanna try and write smth a little fluffier to give myself a mini break from this. not to say i don't enjoy this project, but emotionally torturing your faves can get really draining


End file.
